Of late, St. John of the Cross' poems have been calling me to read them. I find so much of my own spiritual journey within his poetry. I am so far from being in this place where "My soul is disentangled from every created thing", but it is the direction I hope to be going. Darkness, fear, and struggling through my past and all the guilt ... but poetry and music (obviously the "good" kind!) really help me, draw me toward Him, toward my Father in Heaven. And for the moments I can immerse myself in them, all the fear/darkness/guilt are erased. Now I just need to find my way back over to St. Mary Parish for their excellent men's chant choir at the Saturday Vigil. It is hard to justify the 8 hours of total time it entails for me to travel to that parish, which (except for my territorial mission parish) is the closest to us, just so I can be lifted up by their beautiful Liturgy and Music. But when I can make it over, it is completely worth it.
A gloss (with spiritual meaning).
Without support yet with support,
living without light, in darkness,
I am wholly being consumed.
1. My soul is disentangled
from every created thing
and lifted above itself
in a life of gladness
supported only in God.
So now it can be said
that I most value this:
My soul now sees itself
without support yet with support.
2. And though I suffer darknesses
in this mortal life,
that is not so hard a thing;
for even if I have no light
I have the life of heaven.
For the blinder love is
the more it gives such life,
holding the soul surrendered,
living without light in darkness.
3. After I have known it
love works so in me
that whether things go well or badly
love turns them to one sweetness
transforming the soul in itself.
And so in its delighting flame
which I am feeling within me,
swiftly, with nothing spared,
I am wholly being consumed.
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