Saturday, March 30, 2013

Holy Thursday, Rubrics and Pope Francis I

There has been much brouhaha over Pope Francis I's washing of, dare I type it?....the feet of two girls at the Holy Thursday Liturgy.  Can we all just take a collective breath here?  I've seen many people comment on this, and many of them have stated they don't want to offend anyone, well, if you want to be offended - go ahead and be offended.  Doesn't bother me any!

I may have attended a Holy Thursday Liturgy when I was young, but I don't remember it.  Tomorrow, Easter, will mark three years back with the Church.  I missed a lot in those 20 or so years I was away.  When I returned, I returned to what seemed to be a completely different Church - the Mass was not exactly as I had remembered it, there was no encouragement of devotions, very little beauty in the building, no pews, no kneelers, etc...  Well, I found that some of that was just here, and some of it was pretty universal.  Only in the past year or so did I begin to study and learn and realize that many of the changes were "illicit".  This study began in earnest with the new translation of the Mass, as I took it upon myself to learn and discover the reasons behind the changes.  But I also learned a lot more in the process, and became somewhat of a stickler for sticking to the words, actions, etc....

Last year, I was asked to be part of the foot washing on Holy Thursday Mass.  Not only did I say "no", I also launched into a lecture explaining why washing women's feet was not allowed and how we shouldn't be doing it. . . .  I'm surprised the sacristan still talks to me :-).  Part of this was a reaction to our Pastor's proclivity to playing it free and loose with the Liturgy and other specified ceremonies.  He usually sticks to the words for the Collect/Preface/Eucharistic Prayer ... though he may add some extra text here and there, but he changes other parts, leaves required sections out, and adds in some annoying (to me, at least) "explanations".  I spoke to him about this, and though not in these words, he essentially told me "to get over it, and get used to it" because he wasn't about to change.  It got to the point that I did not want to come to Mass, though I always did, and walking into the building for Holy Mass was causing me emotional distress.  I have always loved the Liturgy - even as a child, I found it beautiful and was always happy to go.  So for me to not want to assist at Mass?  It is a big thing - and honestly, I am almost back to that point again - at least here, at this Parish.

But back to the point of this post:  Holy Thursday.  Being rather annoyingly introspective, I began to think and pray about my reactions and emotions.  What I began to realize was that I enjoyed letting people know how much I knew.  Sure, the deviations bothered me, but it had become more about me, and what I knew and what they didn't know.  I was quite prideful about this.  Once I realized from where my reactions were coming, I tried to go even deeper and figure out why the changes bothered me in the first place.  I only figured it out once I was able to attend some reverent, "correct" Masses.  In those, I was able to relax.  I knew exactly what was going to happen, what was going to be said, and I could more easily focus on my internal process - my personal act of assisting at the Mass.  When the words changed, or were omitted or added to, it would throw me off and make it more difficult for me to remain focused.  I figure the specific words and actions are there for a reason (and in studying this, I KNOW they are there for a reason - most of these reasons being perfectly valid), but I also discovered that a lot of my reaction was due to me and my personality. 

Intellectually, I have many reasons why the words should not be changed, but I am not going into those today.  Today, it's all about me.  Please, go ahead and laugh at that last statement if you didn't already.  But when I was asked this year about having my feet washed, I went right back to that place of pride - I know something you don't know.  HA!  Haven't learned much over the past year, have I?  Sigh.  So when Pope Francis I washed the feet of two girls, I was saddened and bothered by it - but after thought and prayer, I pretty much got over it.  There are much bigger Liturgical fish to fry, and though we shouldn't excuse something based on "intent", I do think it is important to look at intent.  I do think, sadly, this will provide more ammunition to those who like to play free and loose with the rubrics, and I also think this is confusing to people who know what the rules are and have now seen the Pope "break" them.  But can't we look at the big picture?  Can't we think for a moment, too, that the Holy Father is human, plunked down very recently into a position for which he had not planned, and that he is perhaps still a bit like a deer in the headlights?  I think this next year will be much more telling than these first few weeks.  Were we all perfect right off the bat when we began a new job - even one for which we were eminently qualified?  Give the man a break - and then prayerfully discern your own motives.  If the foot washing bothered you, why?  If it didn't, why not?  It's good to know both sides.  It's good to look, as well, at the big picture and remember where our focus should remain:  on Christ, on the Cross, and not always so stuck in the minutia of precise adherence to rules (though they are important).

OK, rant over.  Now, back to work.

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