Wash me with Your blood.
Twenty years of pain,
unrelenting scourging,
thorns,
never felt:
until now.
Cover me with Your blood.
Weigh me down with The Cross.
My Lord and my God.
Only with You can I climb.
Only with You
can I walk.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
Idols of Our Own Making
There are days this path to holiness really annoys me! I'll be limping along, thinking I'm doing OK, getting closer to where I want to be, learning more, knowing more, more, more, more!! Then I will have a sudden realization that I have been completely missing something - a sin, a failing, an imperfection. Something so patently obvious, how could I miss it? And I can choose to either wallow in self-reflective-guilt or accept the revelation as another chance to embrace humility. I need a lot of those chances - to embrace humility. Of course, wallowing in guilt is just a form of pride, so that is always a temptation...and it sure seems much easier, or at least more pleasant, than allowing myself to experience humility. I do my fair share of wallowing, but with the grace of God I am SLOWLY learning to accept His requests to humble myself.
So what did I realize recently? First Commandment - making idols out of things other than God. Surely I don't do that.... but guess, what? I do. Usually not with the intent of making them idols, but they become more important than God and therefore block my view of Him and block my path to Him. We can make just about anything into an idol, even things that are "good". What do you
"worship" alongside your worship of God? Money, status, knowledge...? I never considered this a problem, but now this past week with this realization, I have come to know that indeed I do have this tendency within me. Just another step on the path to perfection - and one of those days when I am glad the way is sometimes covered in fog . . . .
God bless.
So what did I realize recently? First Commandment - making idols out of things other than God. Surely I don't do that.... but guess, what? I do. Usually not with the intent of making them idols, but they become more important than God and therefore block my view of Him and block my path to Him. We can make just about anything into an idol, even things that are "good". What do you
"worship" alongside your worship of God? Money, status, knowledge...? I never considered this a problem, but now this past week with this realization, I have come to know that indeed I do have this tendency within me. Just another step on the path to perfection - and one of those days when I am glad the way is sometimes covered in fog . . . .
God bless.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Thoughts
Parents, having received the sacred gift of human life in your marriage, our Lord calls you to be holy models of Christian living in your "domestic church" who represent the loving union of Christ and His Bride, the Church. . . in a great many families today there has been a deterioration and loss of Christian values. . . parents often consider economics, physical appearance, or social status more important than becoming holy signs of the loving union of Christ and His Church. . . teaching Catholic faith and morals to their children is not even a consideration or possibility. For they do not know the faith themselves. The greatest tragedy is that many of their children have left the Church without ever developing into mature believing and practicing Catholics. . . DO YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT? (From Friar Mariano D Veliz, OP, Facebook Page)
First is the realization that our children are a sacred gift. If we truly see them as the gift they are, then our perspective as parents will of necessity reflect that realization. For if we see our children as gifts from God, we will align our lives and our priorities around the nurturing of that gift and the proper focus of our own lives as parents will shift toward God.
Unfortunately, I do not often see this attitude. But I live in an "unchurched" area, and I am the only person with young children who regularly attends our parish church. My older son is THE altar boy. We have not had religious education for more than two years, with the exception of the confirmation prep class for last Fall's Confirmation. Church, God, religious training is seen as secondary to just about everything else: school, sports, television programs, farm work, etc.... The loss of Christian values I see is a skewing of priorities more than anything else.
I do think most of this comes from the parents' lack of knowledge of the Faith. I sat in on the Confirmation Prep classes and was often appalled at what was being taught - or not taught. This was not done maliciously, but occurred because parents had volunteered to teach, these parents had not been properly vetted but were only chosen to teach because they were the only ones to volunteer and their children were the ones preparing for Confirmation. None of the Confirmed have returned to Church on any regular basis - the families have not returned to participate in the Sacramental Life of the Church. One family would attend, but there are other difficulties and the Catholic parent is not often here and the non-Catholic parent is not bringing the children. With the exception of this one family, the Faith is just not a priority. In their list of priorities, it comes very close the the bottom.
In fairness, those of us born in the wake of Vatican II were poorly catechized. I grew up attending Catholic Schools exclusively, but we did not talk about God or the Faith at home. In response to family situations, I retreated into my own world which involved a choice to take God, Mary, Jesus as my true family - I found my Mother's 1962 St. Joseph's Missal and taught myself the Faith from that - I developed a deep love and trust and reliance upon God and the Church. But I was unusual, for I held onto that all the way through high school. Without the Church I most likely would not have survived to report back about my childhood. It was my lifeline - God was foremost in my life, and at the risk of sounding like a Southern Baptist, Jesus was literally my Lord and my Savior.
Then with unexpected swiftness, all that was gone. I still believed, I still considered myself Catholic, but I became very angry at God and ceased to practice the Faith. Within those years of anger, both of my boys were born. It took another life event to bring me back to the Faith. I can only credit those early years of devotion and utter reliance for my reconversion. God had been calling me to return for quite a while, but it took a Divine 2x4 to bring me to my knees and rekindle my understanding of my dependence upon God.
But if people did not have that early Faith - and so many of my generation have a weak and immature understanding - what are they going to turn to as their life progresses? The world - the secular culture. Will they raise their children in the Faith? They will mean to, they will have every intention to do so - but without any understanding or knowledge of the fullness of the Faith, their passing on of the Faith will be lukewarm at best. They will easily turn to New Age or occult practices because they don't know any better. They will be absent from the Parish Life because they honestly do not realize the importance.
My older son chose at the age of 12 to join the Church. I taught him using the "old" materials (Baltimore Catechism). It was actually in teaching him that my old fire was re-ignited. He is now, at 14, very serious about his Faith, and he has made me more serious about mine. Recognizing my responsibility, understanding my role as given to me by God, has deepened my desire to grow toward holiness. I take all this very seriously, because I know what the lack of God - the choice to be without God - does to a life. My younger son has been expressing for a while his desire to be a priest, and talks about God and Jesus as if they are right next to him. He's only five, but it warms my heart to hear him and watch him grow with the understanding that God is real and alive right here and right now.
My husband has not returned to the Faith. I take much responsibility for that - perhaps I shouldn't, but I do. The older son understands to some extent why Dad doesn't attend Holy Mass - and he prays that his Father will return. The younger son, asks why he has to go if Dad doesn't go and prefers to stay home with Dad. For me, this is the most challenging part. I do believe that BOTH parents need to agree with and practice the Faith, for their own benefit and for the benefit of their children. It has been shown that when Fathers are more involved in the Faith Life, that children will tend to stay involved as they get older. Fathers have a lot of influence here.
That doesn't mean a Mother has no influence, but God created us Man and Woman - he joined us in Holy Matrimony and gave us a commission to raise our children to know, love, and serve Him; to love him with whole heart, mind, body, soul, spirit..... This is best done within that structure of marriage, best done within the parameters given to us by God. We need to return to a correct understanding of family. We need to return to a full support of family. Where to begin? Now that's the million dollar question. I fear we have lost a lot of ground when as a Church we didn't continue to emphasize correct Church teachings and left a generation or two or three to flounder around on their own in an increasingly hostile world.
These are just initial thoughts. I may come back and add to them, edit them, but I think they contain a fair sampling of my current understanding on this subject.
First is the realization that our children are a sacred gift. If we truly see them as the gift they are, then our perspective as parents will of necessity reflect that realization. For if we see our children as gifts from God, we will align our lives and our priorities around the nurturing of that gift and the proper focus of our own lives as parents will shift toward God.
Unfortunately, I do not often see this attitude. But I live in an "unchurched" area, and I am the only person with young children who regularly attends our parish church. My older son is THE altar boy. We have not had religious education for more than two years, with the exception of the confirmation prep class for last Fall's Confirmation. Church, God, religious training is seen as secondary to just about everything else: school, sports, television programs, farm work, etc.... The loss of Christian values I see is a skewing of priorities more than anything else.
I do think most of this comes from the parents' lack of knowledge of the Faith. I sat in on the Confirmation Prep classes and was often appalled at what was being taught - or not taught. This was not done maliciously, but occurred because parents had volunteered to teach, these parents had not been properly vetted but were only chosen to teach because they were the only ones to volunteer and their children were the ones preparing for Confirmation. None of the Confirmed have returned to Church on any regular basis - the families have not returned to participate in the Sacramental Life of the Church. One family would attend, but there are other difficulties and the Catholic parent is not often here and the non-Catholic parent is not bringing the children. With the exception of this one family, the Faith is just not a priority. In their list of priorities, it comes very close the the bottom.
In fairness, those of us born in the wake of Vatican II were poorly catechized. I grew up attending Catholic Schools exclusively, but we did not talk about God or the Faith at home. In response to family situations, I retreated into my own world which involved a choice to take God, Mary, Jesus as my true family - I found my Mother's 1962 St. Joseph's Missal and taught myself the Faith from that - I developed a deep love and trust and reliance upon God and the Church. But I was unusual, for I held onto that all the way through high school. Without the Church I most likely would not have survived to report back about my childhood. It was my lifeline - God was foremost in my life, and at the risk of sounding like a Southern Baptist, Jesus was literally my Lord and my Savior.
Then with unexpected swiftness, all that was gone. I still believed, I still considered myself Catholic, but I became very angry at God and ceased to practice the Faith. Within those years of anger, both of my boys were born. It took another life event to bring me back to the Faith. I can only credit those early years of devotion and utter reliance for my reconversion. God had been calling me to return for quite a while, but it took a Divine 2x4 to bring me to my knees and rekindle my understanding of my dependence upon God.
But if people did not have that early Faith - and so many of my generation have a weak and immature understanding - what are they going to turn to as their life progresses? The world - the secular culture. Will they raise their children in the Faith? They will mean to, they will have every intention to do so - but without any understanding or knowledge of the fullness of the Faith, their passing on of the Faith will be lukewarm at best. They will easily turn to New Age or occult practices because they don't know any better. They will be absent from the Parish Life because they honestly do not realize the importance.
My older son chose at the age of 12 to join the Church. I taught him using the "old" materials (Baltimore Catechism). It was actually in teaching him that my old fire was re-ignited. He is now, at 14, very serious about his Faith, and he has made me more serious about mine. Recognizing my responsibility, understanding my role as given to me by God, has deepened my desire to grow toward holiness. I take all this very seriously, because I know what the lack of God - the choice to be without God - does to a life. My younger son has been expressing for a while his desire to be a priest, and talks about God and Jesus as if they are right next to him. He's only five, but it warms my heart to hear him and watch him grow with the understanding that God is real and alive right here and right now.
My husband has not returned to the Faith. I take much responsibility for that - perhaps I shouldn't, but I do. The older son understands to some extent why Dad doesn't attend Holy Mass - and he prays that his Father will return. The younger son, asks why he has to go if Dad doesn't go and prefers to stay home with Dad. For me, this is the most challenging part. I do believe that BOTH parents need to agree with and practice the Faith, for their own benefit and for the benefit of their children. It has been shown that when Fathers are more involved in the Faith Life, that children will tend to stay involved as they get older. Fathers have a lot of influence here.
That doesn't mean a Mother has no influence, but God created us Man and Woman - he joined us in Holy Matrimony and gave us a commission to raise our children to know, love, and serve Him; to love him with whole heart, mind, body, soul, spirit..... This is best done within that structure of marriage, best done within the parameters given to us by God. We need to return to a correct understanding of family. We need to return to a full support of family. Where to begin? Now that's the million dollar question. I fear we have lost a lot of ground when as a Church we didn't continue to emphasize correct Church teachings and left a generation or two or three to flounder around on their own in an increasingly hostile world.
These are just initial thoughts. I may come back and add to them, edit them, but I think they contain a fair sampling of my current understanding on this subject.
Friday, July 26, 2013
St Maria Goretti
Friday last, July 19, I journeyed to St. Cecilia Parish where the Treasures of the Church traveling relics exhibit was being held. This parish usually has Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction Fridays, so I drove directly there once getting off the ferry, and was able to experience Adoration (which my parish does not have)for an hour. Then the presentation began, and we were encouraged to look for the saint who spoke to us. I knew before I walked over to the exhibit area that St. Maria Goretti was the saint who was "speaking to me." I had heard her story when I was young, and it was impressed upon us that she was a saint because she had preferred death rather than allowing herself to be raped. I'm sure this was slanted in this way for good and noble reasons, but it came to be a guilt-inducing story for me. As Fr. Carlos Martins talked about her, though, he emphasized the forgiveness aspect of her story and I felt a shift within me. Rather amazing, really - so I found her relic very quickly. The next day during confession, my confessor mentioned St. Maria Goretti to me, so I am getting the "hint" that perhaps I should study more about her and ask for her intercession.
Healing, not physical, but mental/emotional/spiritual occurred that night. Whether it was from the shift in focus in the story, the intercession of St. Maria Goretti, or something else doesn't matter to me. I'll accept it and am so very thankful.
Healing, not physical, but mental/emotional/spiritual occurred that night. Whether it was from the shift in focus in the story, the intercession of St. Maria Goretti, or something else doesn't matter to me. I'll accept it and am so very thankful.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Salty Nettle Chips
Hello, fellow islanders - wondering what to do with all that Nettle growing in your yard? Sure, there's nettle tea, nettle pesto, use it like spinach in your soups, make clothes out of it (really!!) . . . but here's a new one, at least new to me:
Try This Out: Salty Nettle Chips
4/13/2012 3:33:51 PM
by Erin McIntosh
The stinging trichomes that make nettles famous will lose their biting ferocity as you glaze and dry the leaves. No need to worry about stung tongues! You will need a good pair of thick gloves and garden shears when harvesting though. Look for the young tender tops in spring and early summer, before the plant goes to flower or seed. Snip the plant about 6 inches from the top and collect in a paper bag or basket.
This is a super healthy, easy, and delicious recipe. Feel free to experiment with different spice combinations, finely grated cheeses, oils, or vinegars for a variety of flavors. Any leftover leaves can be juiced, added to pizza, smoothies, curries, breads, scrambles, or dried for tea, and the stems can be used to make rope. (Another fun nettle project I plan to tackle this year!)
- 20-40 freshly harvested nettle leaves
Friday, July 5, 2013
St. Juan de la Cruz
Of late, St. John of the Cross' poems have been calling me to read them. I find so much of my own spiritual journey within his poetry. I am so far from being in this place where "My soul is disentangled from every created thing", but it is the direction I hope to be going. Darkness, fear, and struggling through my past and all the guilt ... but poetry and music (obviously the "good" kind!) really help me, draw me toward Him, toward my Father in Heaven. And for the moments I can immerse myself in them, all the fear/darkness/guilt are erased. Now I just need to find my way back over to St. Mary Parish for their excellent men's chant choir at the Saturday Vigil. It is hard to justify the 8 hours of total time it entails for me to travel to that parish, which (except for my territorial mission parish) is the closest to us, just so I can be lifted up by their beautiful Liturgy and Music. But when I can make it over, it is completely worth it.
A gloss (with spiritual meaning).
Without support yet with support,
living without light, in darkness,
I am wholly being consumed.
1. My soul is disentangled
from every created thing
and lifted above itself
in a life of gladness
supported only in God.
So now it can be said
that I most value this:
My soul now sees itself
without support yet with support.
2. And though I suffer darknesses
in this mortal life,
that is not so hard a thing;
for even if I have no light
I have the life of heaven.
For the blinder love is
the more it gives such life,
holding the soul surrendered,
living without light in darkness.
3. After I have known it
love works so in me
that whether things go well or badly
love turns them to one sweetness
transforming the soul in itself.
And so in its delighting flame
which I am feeling within me,
swiftly, with nothing spared,
I am wholly being consumed.
A gloss (with spiritual meaning).
Without support yet with support,
living without light, in darkness,
I am wholly being consumed.
1. My soul is disentangled
from every created thing
and lifted above itself
in a life of gladness
supported only in God.
So now it can be said
that I most value this:
My soul now sees itself
without support yet with support.
2. And though I suffer darknesses
in this mortal life,
that is not so hard a thing;
for even if I have no light
I have the life of heaven.
For the blinder love is
the more it gives such life,
holding the soul surrendered,
living without light in darkness.
3. After I have known it
love works so in me
that whether things go well or badly
love turns them to one sweetness
transforming the soul in itself.
And so in its delighting flame
which I am feeling within me,
swiftly, with nothing spared,
I am wholly being consumed.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Faith formation tonight
Tonight at the Faith Formation Group we will be discussing the 5 Disciplines of Discipleship, from Msgr. Charles Pope's Blog. The article is well worth the time if you haven't read it yet.
More Torture :-)
Before you ask: yep, this one was slightly painful. It is quite a different stretch!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
"On Being Prudent...."
From "The Imitation of Christ" by Thomas a' Kempis, ch. 4.2:
"It is wise, therefore, to act slowly, not to trust entirely our own opinions, or to accept every tale and quickly pass it along to the next one. Seek advice from a wise person of good conscience and be instructed by that person rather than follow your own way. A good life will make you wise in the ways of God and will broaden your experience. If you are humble and submissive to God's will, you will have peace in all you do."
"It is wise, therefore, to act slowly, not to trust entirely our own opinions, or to accept every tale and quickly pass it along to the next one. Seek advice from a wise person of good conscience and be instructed by that person rather than follow your own way. A good life will make you wise in the ways of God and will broaden your experience. If you are humble and submissive to God's will, you will have peace in all you do."
Thursday, June 6, 2013
375
That's how many tent caterpillars I removed from my strawberry plants this morning. 375. I'm on the warpath. They'd best steer clear of my strawberries!!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Birthday Dinner
It was my husband's birthday yesterday. Yes, I married a younger man! He's an entire year and a half my junior. Filet with sautéed mushrooms, sweet potato, spinach salad from the garden, and Cola cake for dessert. Here's dinner:
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Receive as though it is your last . . . .
I'm not sure what made today different. I lead the Rosary prior to Holy Mass, and one faithful person had joined me in the small Eucharistic chapel of our church. It kept getting louder and louder outside the door, and I could tell she was having a hard time hearing me. As we began the fourth decade, suddenly a thought interrupted - a thought that I might not experience what it is like to lose my hearing, I might not get old enough, I might die before "old age". I had to stop to recollect myself, as unbidden and sudden tears invaded my prayer.
As we progressed through the Liturgy of the Eucharist, this thought returned as I considered that this could be the last Eucharist I ever received. . . this was the closest I could get to Heaven here on earth . . the closest union between me and my Lord. There were tears in my eyes and on my face as I received. All I could see was Him. My focus was sharpened and singular. My prayer, to grant me the grace I need so that I may be with Him. "Stay with me, Lord. . . Death approaches. . . I fear the darkness. . ."
To the best of my knowledge I am not under threat of imminent death. I don't know why this thought came to me. But I am incredibly grateful for the grace, at that moment, to have been able to focus so entirely on the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist; to see only His Presence as everything else faded out in that brief moment; to realize that this life is transitory and I need to turn myself completely over to Him so that I will find myself finally united with Him for all eternity.
As we progressed through the Liturgy of the Eucharist, this thought returned as I considered that this could be the last Eucharist I ever received. . . this was the closest I could get to Heaven here on earth . . the closest union between me and my Lord. There were tears in my eyes and on my face as I received. All I could see was Him. My focus was sharpened and singular. My prayer, to grant me the grace I need so that I may be with Him. "Stay with me, Lord. . . Death approaches. . . I fear the darkness. . ."
To the best of my knowledge I am not under threat of imminent death. I don't know why this thought came to me. But I am incredibly grateful for the grace, at that moment, to have been able to focus so entirely on the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist; to see only His Presence as everything else faded out in that brief moment; to realize that this life is transitory and I need to turn myself completely over to Him so that I will find myself finally united with Him for all eternity.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Dial 1-800-CHR-ISTI
I went down to my favorite place today, to partake of one of my favorite things: a Day of Recollection at the Carmelite Institute of Spirituality in Stanwood, WA. The back way I had to take because of the bridge collapse ended up being shorter and much nicer. It reminded me of home, driving through agricultural areas, with fields, and tractors, and cattle. I think even once the bridge is re-built I will continue to travel that way.
Fr. Laurence Poncini, OCD, (Mt. Angel House of Studies) was visiting and gave a talk on Claude Newman. Ever heard of him? I hadn't, but his story is very intriguing. I highly recommend you taking the time to read it.
One part I especially liked was when he was describing Our Lady telling him about confession: "You know, the Lady said that Confession is something like a telephone. We talk through the priest to God, and God talks back to us through the priest." Fr. Laurence said he really liked how modern Mary was . . . he supposed that today we'd say "cell phone", or if we really liked the priest we could call him a "smart phone"!! :-)
I have been quite impressed with these Carmelites. I'm never in a hurry to leave. And I have yet to have one say he didn't have time to hear my confession.
Fr. Laurence Poncini, OCD, (Mt. Angel House of Studies) was visiting and gave a talk on Claude Newman. Ever heard of him? I hadn't, but his story is very intriguing. I highly recommend you taking the time to read it.
One part I especially liked was when he was describing Our Lady telling him about confession: "You know, the Lady said that Confession is something like a telephone. We talk through the priest to God, and God talks back to us through the priest." Fr. Laurence said he really liked how modern Mary was . . . he supposed that today we'd say "cell phone", or if we really liked the priest we could call him a "smart phone"!! :-)
I have been quite impressed with these Carmelites. I'm never in a hurry to leave. And I have yet to have one say he didn't have time to hear my confession.
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