Facebook: The Illusion of Intimacy

(I'll probably offend some people here.  Oh well!)

I prefer to read books - you know, the real kind, with covers and paper pages.  I do like my e-reader, and use it for specific types of reading, but if I am really going to sit down and read a book, I want a BOOK.  When interacting with people, I prefer face-to-face, but am also content with letters or email because I can tell a lot about someone by what they write.  I do not like the phone.  I abhor texting.  Facebook communication for me, is somewhere in between the phone and texting.

I use Facebook for a specific purpose.  When I first created an account it was merely so I could check out potential new employees.  Recently a couple of friends suggested FB as a more convenient way to stay in touch.  I found out I could have almost all of my daily reading located in one place, and could also see what my Friends were up to .  I enjoy the one group to which I belong, and it has been nice to keep up with people I "used to know" but who have moved away, and to connect with like-minded people whom I would probably never meet any other way.  But my primary reason for being on FB is informative. 

Articles.  News Items.  Prayers.  Homilies.  This is what comes into my newsfeed.  I tend to use FB as a tool.  Sure, I like the funny things that pop up - the family photos - the craft you just created - the trip you've been on - the new baby - the "here's what I want to do with the rest of my life" post.  And perhaps this makes me an unusual person on FB, but that is not why I'm there.  So when people ("friends") I don't know send me a message and then act offended when I don't respond, or if I get one too many silly facebook games from one person ... you know, the "post this to your page" or "well since you liked my status you now have to do thus and such"... guess what?  I am very quick to unfriend.  People I know, people who are my Friends - that is different.  But if you don't know me, don't presume that you do.

That is what I mean by the illusion of intimacy.  Just because we are FB friends doesn't mean we're Friends.  And if we are Friends?  Then you'll know it because I have your email address or phone number or I see you on a regular basis.  I can count my Friends on one hand, and my close acquaintances on the other.  

I'm only closing in on 30 FB-friends, because I've unfriended some who didn't meet my high standards and I'm very careful of whom I accept as a friend.  So if you are on that exclusive list?  You must be pretty awesome!! :-) 

What Do People Need to Hear?

A good friend, has posted on his blog a statement/question:  Where Catholic Preaching Needs to Go....?  This is one among many things close to my heart.  Preaching - Homilies - Sermons.  So when I saw this, I thought I would propose my own somewhat rambling thoughts on the subject.  First, I am just a "pew-sitter." I have little training or education in theology, slightly more than a little education in writing and literature, but lots of experience in listening to homilies.  I will seek out homilies to read and hear.  Most of the time I am disappointed.  My friend, Father Philip N. Powell, OP, produces consistently good to excellent homilies, as do Msgr. Charles Pope and Fr. Lawrence Lew, OP.  But in general, most other homilies I read or hear are hit or miss. 

Maybe I'm doing something wrong?  So I searched for what I should be looking for in a homily, and came across this excellent piece by Fr. Peter John Cameron, OP.  He lists seven points for listeners who want to know "How to Listen to a Homily."  I think it is also a good thing to read for those who want to know "How to Write a Homily."  I won't rehash what he writes, but if you have the time, go over and read what he has written.  I think it will be well worth your time.

But what do I find so disappointing?  So often I find only a facsimile of the faith - I want good, strong, genuine Catholicism, and instead hear "Catholic-light", or "I'm OK, you're OK".  Let's all get together, get along, and have a wonderful group hug around this table where we have a weekly community together-meal, with this Jesus-guy who loves us all and isn't going to really judge us but only love us just as we are no matter what we are doing....  Yippee! 

Msgr. Pope wrote an article about the differences between men and women, here.  He posits that men seek to be challenged and women are more comfortable being consoled.  I always knew I was a little different, because I seek to be challenged.  I'll hear one of those pop-psychology sermons and want to scream:  But you didn't SAY anything!!!  While I hear other women gushing:  Oh, what a wonderful sermon!  Really?  What did you put in your coffee this morning?!?  This is probably the reason that the faith formation group I facilitate is primarily populated by men.  Recent, and recurring topics, like "Hell", "Purgatory", "Fear of God", "Pride" may not cater to the female sensibilities.  Two weeks ago I ended our final prayer with "Repent!  And believe in the Gospel!", and last week "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!"  We don't hear this during the homily, so my inner-Baptist-preacher comes out on Monday nights and I get all-fired up and teach what needs to be taught. 

What is that exactly?  What do I, sitting here in the pew, want and need to hear?  And what do I think my fellow pew-sitters need to hear? 

"Abandon your wickedness and believe in the Lord!!" 

Well, OK, maybe not that strong, but that's the general idea.  So many people don't seem to know Who Jesus is.  The 60's/70's hippy Jesus seems to be the general consensus around here.  Peace, love, acceptance, tolerance....  But really, Who Is He?  Why should He matter to me, now in 2013?  What is meant by a "living God?"  Is Jesus really present, here, now?  What kind of relationship should I strive for?  What kind of relationship should I expect?  A personal relationship?  What does that really mean?  A Sacramental relationship?  And what does this relationship with Jesus have to do with my relationship with the Church? 

I see a problem of belief.  Jesus, to me, is....  There is this idea that whatever or whomever I feel Jesus is for me is who Jesus is.  There is little emphasis on the Jesus of Scripture.  This Jesus, who is fully human AND fully divine.  I think in so many ways, priests and others involved in teaching the faithful need to back up, full-stop, and ask:  Who is Jesus?  Why should I believe in Him?  As a preacher and teacher, you need to be sure of your own relationship - for you can't preach what you don't have or what you don't believe.  Your preaching will come from your relationship, your prayer, your study, your meditation.  Be clear in your own mind and heart, and that will shine forth in your homilies. 

Be clear in definitions of commonly used but misunderstood words:  Love is a prime example.  God loves me, so I can do whatever I want, and He will still love me.  Well, OK, sure, sort of - but why does it always have to be about me?  And what is Love, as in the theological virtue, which is called "charity"?  If we define charity as "love of God", how does that change our perception of "love?"  Maybe it doesn't, but I think it probably will.  Yes, God loves us, but what does that mean???  And how should that affect the way we live, our relationship with Him and with those around us, our relationship with the Church? 

Seriously discuss and explain the Incarnation.  Ho-hum.  God became man.  Nothing special there.  WHAT?!?  This is what I hear - well, OK, not in those words, but it is how people live, as if it really doesn't mean anything. 

Mystery - expound on mystery, on its beauty, and its difficulty, and its necessity. 

Ask hard questions.  Challenge.  Provoke (within reason, of course!).  Speak of current events and how our faith should inform the decisions we must make in our everyday lives.  Know what your people are hearing and seeing and experiencing in their daily lives, and allow the Gospel to address those issues.  Be brave!  Ask hard questions of your congregation - acknowledge that they are hard questions.  Ask these same questions of yourself, and be honest with your answers.  Fr. Martin Fox, in his homily for this weekend, asked this question: 

"If Jesus came to your house today, would he challenge you on anything?"

 

Wow!  Did I want to be asked that?  Do I really want to think about that?  But I can answer that question honestly and truthfully ONLY if I have an understanding of who Jesus is and what my relationship to Him is.

 

I don't really like the expression "meet the people where they are," but it seems appropriate for those who set about preaching.  Start at the beginning.  Jesus.  Begin here - not the wishywashy Jesus, but introduce people to the Jesus of the Gospels.  If your relationship with Him is strong and solid, it will come out in your homilies.  If you know Him, it will come out in your homilies.  So, sure meet people where they are and meet them where you are ... but don't stay there!  Move together toward the Lord, toward the perfection for which He created you.  Each step you take should be closer and closer to Him, so you may hear Him and understand that He wants to, both for priests and laity alike, "make you worthy of your calling...." (2 Thes 1:22)

 

 

The Healing

Wash me with Your blood.
Twenty years of pain,
unrelenting scourging,
thorns,

never felt:
until now.
Cover me with Your blood.
Weigh me down with The Cross.

My Lord and my God.
Only with You can I climb.
Only with You

can I walk.

Idols of Our Own Making

There are days this path to holiness really annoys me!  I'll be limping along, thinking I'm doing OK, getting closer to where I want to be, learning more, knowing more, more, more, more!!  Then I will have a sudden realization that I have been completely missing something - a sin, a failing, an imperfection.  Something so patently obvious, how could I miss it?  And I can choose to either wallow in self-reflective-guilt or accept the revelation as another chance to embrace humility.  I need a lot of those chances - to embrace humility.  Of course, wallowing in guilt is just a form of pride, so that is always a temptation...and it sure seems much easier, or at least more pleasant, than allowing myself to experience humility.  I do my fair share of wallowing, but with the grace of God I am SLOWLY learning to accept His requests to humble myself. 

So what did I realize recently?  First Commandment - making idols out of things other than God.  Surely I don't do that.... but guess, what?  I do.  Usually not with the intent of making them idols, but they become more important than God and therefore block my view of Him and block my path to Him.  We can make just about anything into an idol, even things that are "good".  What do you
"worship" alongside your worship of God?  Money, status, knowledge...?  I never considered this a problem, but now this past week with this realization, I have come to know that indeed I do have this tendency within me.  Just another step on the path to perfection - and one of those days when I am glad the way is sometimes covered in fog . . . .

God bless.

Thoughts

Parents, having received the sacred gift of human life in your marriage, our Lord calls you to be holy models of Christian living in your "domestic church" who represent the loving union of Christ and His Bride, the Church. . . in a great many families today there has been a deterioration and loss of Christian values. . . parents often consider economics, physical appearance, or social status more important than becoming holy signs of the loving union of Christ and His Church. . . teaching Catholic faith and morals to their children is not even a consideration or possibility. For they do not know the faith themselves. The greatest tragedy is that many of their children have left the Church without ever developing into mature believing and practicing Catholics.  . . DO YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT?  (From Friar Mariano D Veliz, OP, Facebook Page)

First is the realization that our children are a sacred gift.  If we truly see them as the gift they are, then our perspective as parents will of necessity reflect that realization.  For if we see our children as gifts from God, we will align our lives and our priorities around the nurturing of that gift and the proper focus of our own lives as parents will shift toward God.

Unfortunately, I do not often see this attitude.  But I live in an "unchurched" area, and I am the only person with young children who regularly attends our parish church.  My older son is THE altar boy.  We have not had religious education for more than two years, with the exception of the confirmation prep class for last Fall's Confirmation.  Church, God, religious training is seen as secondary to just about everything else: school, sports, television programs, farm work, etc....  The loss of Christian values I see is a skewing of priorities more than anything else. 

I do think most of this comes from the parents' lack of knowledge of the Faith.  I sat in on the Confirmation Prep classes and was often appalled at what was being taught - or not taught.  This was not done maliciously, but occurred because parents had volunteered to teach, these parents had not been properly vetted but were only chosen to teach because they were the only ones to volunteer and their children were the ones preparing for Confirmation.  None of the Confirmed have returned to Church on any regular basis - the families have not returned to participate in the Sacramental Life of the Church.  One family would attend, but there are other difficulties and the Catholic parent is not often here and the non-Catholic parent is not bringing the children.  With the exception of this one family, the Faith is just not a priority.  In their list of priorities, it comes very close the the bottom.

In fairness, those of us born in the wake of Vatican II were poorly catechized.  I grew up attending Catholic Schools exclusively, but we did not talk about God or the Faith at home.  In response to family situations, I retreated into my own world which involved a choice to take God, Mary, Jesus as my true family - I found my Mother's 1962 St. Joseph's Missal and taught myself the Faith from that - I developed a deep love and trust and reliance upon God and the Church.  But I was unusual, for I held onto that all the way through high school.  Without the Church I most likely would not have survived to report back about my childhood.  It was my lifeline - God was foremost in my life, and at the risk of sounding like a Southern Baptist, Jesus was literally my Lord and my Savior. 

Then with unexpected swiftness, all that was gone.  I still believed, I still considered myself Catholic, but I became very angry at God and ceased to practice the Faith.  Within those years of anger, both of my boys were born.  It took another life event to bring me back to the Faith.  I can only credit those early years of devotion and utter reliance for my reconversion.  God had been calling me to return for quite a while, but it took a Divine 2x4 to bring me to my knees and rekindle my understanding of my dependence upon God. 

But if people did not have that early Faith - and so many of my generation have a weak and immature understanding - what are they going to turn to as their life progresses?  The world - the secular culture.  Will they raise their children in the Faith?  They will mean to, they will have every intention to do so - but without any understanding or knowledge of the fullness of the Faith, their passing on of the Faith will be lukewarm at best.  They will easily turn to New Age or occult practices because they don't know any better.  They will be absent from the Parish Life because they honestly do not realize the importance.

My older son chose at the age of 12 to join the Church.  I taught him using the "old" materials (Baltimore Catechism).  It was actually in teaching him that my old fire was re-ignited.  He is now, at 14, very serious about his Faith, and he has made me more serious about mine.  Recognizing my responsibility, understanding my role as given to me by God, has deepened my desire to grow toward holiness.  I take all this very seriously, because I know what the lack of God - the choice to be without God - does to a life.  My younger son has been expressing for a while his desire to be a priest, and talks about God and Jesus as if they are right next to him.  He's only five, but it warms my heart to hear him and watch him grow with the understanding that God is real and alive right here and right now. 

My husband has not returned to the Faith.  I take much responsibility for that - perhaps I shouldn't, but I do.  The older son understands to some extent why Dad doesn't attend Holy Mass - and he prays that his Father will return.  The younger son, asks why he has to go if Dad doesn't go and prefers to stay home with Dad.  For me, this is the most challenging part.  I do believe that BOTH parents need to agree with and practice the Faith, for their own benefit and for the benefit of their children.  It has been shown that when Fathers are more involved in the Faith Life, that children will tend to stay involved as they get older.  Fathers have a lot of influence here. 

That doesn't mean a Mother has no influence, but God created us Man and Woman - he joined us in Holy Matrimony and gave us a commission to raise our children to know, love, and serve Him; to love him with whole heart, mind, body, soul, spirit.....  This is best done within that structure of marriage, best done within the parameters given to us by God.  We need to return to a correct understanding of family.  We need to return to a full support of family.  Where to begin?  Now that's the million dollar question.  I fear we have lost a lot of ground when as a Church we didn't continue to emphasize correct Church teachings and left a generation or two or three to flounder around on their own in an increasingly hostile world.

These are just initial thoughts.  I may come back and add to them, edit them, but I think they contain a fair sampling of my current understanding on this subject. 

St Maria Goretti

Friday last, July 19, I journeyed to St. Cecilia Parish where the Treasures of the Church traveling relics exhibit was being held.  This parish usually has Eucharistic Adoration and Benediction Fridays, so I drove directly there once getting off the ferry, and was able to experience Adoration (which my parish does not have)for an hour.  Then the presentation began, and we were encouraged to look for the saint who spoke to us.  I knew before I walked over to the exhibit area that St. Maria Goretti was the saint who was "speaking to me."  I had heard her story when I was young, and it was impressed upon us that she was a saint because she had preferred death rather than allowing herself to be raped.  I'm sure this was slanted in this way for good and noble reasons, but it came to be a guilt-inducing story for me.  As Fr. Carlos Martins talked about her, though, he emphasized the forgiveness aspect of her story and I felt a shift within me.  Rather amazing, really - so I found her relic very quickly.  The next day during confession, my confessor mentioned St. Maria Goretti to me, so I am getting the "hint" that perhaps I should study more about her and ask for her intercession. 

Healing, not physical, but mental/emotional/spiritual occurred that night.  Whether it was from the shift in focus in the story, the intercession of St. Maria Goretti, or something else doesn't matter to me.  I'll accept it and am so very thankful.

Salty Nettle Chips

Hello, fellow islanders - wondering what to do with all that Nettle growing in your yard? Sure, there's nettle tea, nettle pesto, use it like spinach in your soups, make clothes out of it (really!!) . . . but here's a new one, at least new to me: 

Try This Out: Salty Nettle Chips 

4/13/2012 3:33:51 PM 

by Erin McIntosh 

The stinging trichomes that make nettles famous will lose their biting ferocity as you glaze and dry the leaves. No need to worry about stung tongues! You will need a good pair of thick gloves and garden shears when harvesting though. Look for the young tender tops in spring and early summer, before the plant goes to flower or seed. Snip the plant about 6 inches from the top and collect in a paper bag or basket.

This is a super healthy, easy, and delicious recipe. Feel free to experiment with different spice combinations, finely grated cheeses, oils, or vinegars for a variety of flavors. Any leftover leaves can be juiced, added to pizza, smoothies, curries, breads, scrambles, or dried for tea, and the stems can be used to make rope. (Another fun nettle project I plan to tackle this year!)

- 20-40 freshly harvested nettle leaves

- 2.5 tsp organic extra virgin olive oil

- 1 tbsp organic rice wine vinegar

- 1-2 tbsp organic shoyu, soy sauce, tamari, or Braggs

- 1-2 cloves of garlic, crushed

- 2-3 tbsp nutritional yeast

- Fresh ground organic black pepper to taste

Directions 

Wearing gloves, harvest your nettles, rinse with cool water, and dry. Separate the leaves by breaking the petiole (leaf stem) from the main stem. Mix all of the glaze ingredients together in a bowl. Add the nettle leaves and gently toss until each leaf is well coated. You should be able to remove your gloves at this point. On a parchment paper lined cookie sheet, unravel each delicate leaf. Place pan in a warm oven at 200 degrees and allow the leaves to slowly dehydrate. After 15 to 20 minutes, peel each leaf off of the parchment paper and flip over so the other side can crisp in the oven. Check your nettles every 5 to 10 minutes until they lose sogginess and become nice and crunchy. Be careful not to let them char and turn dark brown or black. Total cooking time can vary between 30 and 45 minutes. Once you reach the desired crispiness, remove and allow to cool. Store in an airtight glass container for up to a week or possibly longer…if they aren’t devoured by then!

Read more: http://www.motherearthliving.com/food-matters/try-this-out-salty-nettle-chips.aspx?state=c90082ac-c2e1-442b-9486-55b8294f5b1f&authError=a0cf8a42-d43b-43eb-9c28-699899067b70#ixzz2YYfl47F6

Try This Out: Salty Nettle Chips

www.motherearthliving.com

These nettle chips are deliciously unique and packed with nutrients. Try this perfectly satisfying salty snack in early spring.

St. Juan de la Cruz

Of late, St. John of the Cross' poems have been calling me to read them.  I find so much of my own spiritual journey within his poetry.  I am so far from being in this place where "My soul is disentangled from every created thing", but it is the direction I hope to be going.  Darkness, fear, and struggling through my past and all the guilt ... but poetry and music (obviously the "good" kind!) really help me, draw me toward Him, toward my Father in Heaven.  And for the moments I can immerse myself in them, all the fear/darkness/guilt are erased.  Now I just need to find my way back over to St. Mary Parish for their excellent men's chant choir at the Saturday Vigil.  It is hard to justify the 8 hours of total time it entails for me to travel to that parish, which (except for my territorial mission parish) is the closest to us, just so I can be lifted up by their beautiful Liturgy and Music. But when I can make it over, it is completely worth it.

A gloss (with spiritual meaning).

Without support yet with support,
living without light, in darkness,
I am wholly being consumed.

1. My soul is disentangled
from every created thing
and lifted above itself
in a life of gladness
supported only in God.
So now it can be said
that I most value this:
My soul now sees itself
without support yet with support.

2. And though I suffer darknesses
in this mortal life,
that is not so hard a thing;
for even if I have no light
I have the life of heaven.
For the blinder love is
the more it gives such life,
holding the soul surrendered,
living without light in darkness.

3. After I have known it
love works so in me
that whether things go well or badly
love turns them to one sweetness
transforming the soul in itself.
And so in its delighting flame
which I am feeling within me,
swiftly, with nothing spared,
I am wholly being consumed.

Faith formation tonight

Tonight at the Faith Formation Group we will be discussing the 5 Disciplines of Discipleship, from Msgr. Charles Pope's Blog.  The article is well worth the time if you haven't read it yet.

More Torture :-)

Before you ask:  yep, this one was slightly painful.  It is quite a different stretch!

"On Being Prudent...."

From "The Imitation of Christ" by Thomas a' Kempis, ch. 4.2:  

"It is wise, therefore, to act slowly, not to trust entirely our own opinions, or to accept every tale and quickly pass it along to the next one.  Seek advice from a wise person of good conscience and be instructed by that person rather than follow your own way.  A good life will make you wise in the ways of God and will broaden your experience.  If you are humble and submissive to God's will, you will have peace in all you do."

375

That's how many tent caterpillars I removed from my strawberry plants this morning.  375.  I'm on the warpath.  They'd best steer clear of my strawberries!!

Wild Rose

I was never
A girl who liked pink,

But thorns I understand.

Birthday Dinner

It was my husband's birthday yesterday.  Yes, I married a younger man! He's an entire year and a half my junior.  Filet with sautéed mushrooms, sweet potato, spinach salad from the garden, and Cola cake for dessert.  Here's dinner: